Puerta Vallarta

First off, I'd like to say how much I despise this monstrosity of an evil keyboard that I must assume is a spanish version of my beloved friend. It}s mis+´placed bits and pieces leave me feeling like an idiot, or at least an aqward duck. But back on topic: Puerta Vallarta. It is no doubt a tourist town, so much so that besides the attempts at agricultural landscaping that are observed when flying it, it would be safe to say that this town exists for foreign tourists that are either looking to get: A) drunk, spun, high, and/or laid. B) a nice set of shell necklaces and authentic parashute solider dude, or C) a false sense of "local experience" on a Mercedes Uni-Mog (apparently German for "one mog") or some other falsly-labeled "eco-tour." I will say, however, that I walked the entire way from the airport to the hostel, then all around downtown, and currently have sore feet. With what appears to be a simese cat rubbing on them, which in truth isn{t so bad. {Damn keyboard. The nightlife here starts (from what I can tell) at around 10-10:30pm when fellow hostel goers buy cheap liquer and beer at the Oxxo mini-mart next door for the in-hostel pre-funk (aka, save your money and get drunk BEFORE hitting the $10 Corona clubs). Once everybody is buzzing, the folks head down into town (we´re up a hill outside of downtown) they hop from disco-disco to disco, then return on average between 2-6am. And that is why I{m sitting here with my Bohemia and tired eyes. : ) I feel like a bit of an old fart, and a bit out of place, but I think I{m going to do some searching for an alledged used book store and chillax on the beach tomorrow. They do have tequila sampling shops here, and oldy enough I{ve been offered weed once from such a vendor, once from a cab driver, and Perkaset (sp?) from some odd fellow near the beach. It must be the beard. Or my red shirt. I will say there are some pretty freaking gorgous women here though, although not the bimboed-out, fake-n-bake you might associate such a statement with back home (I appologize if that is your idea of gorgous, and I just made blasphemy of it). There are Mexican women here that have bodies like supermodels and faces like angels, and they{re all over. How mexican men land these stunning ladies is beyond me, as a mere mortal. Perhaps there is a power of romance they possess, or a secret devotion and nurturing care that they provide that no other man has yet to discover, but whatever it is, I{m impressed. So salude! to the Mexican males who pull in the big game fish, may they keep their secrets for generations to come. But that said, there are some who got an ass-whooping with the ugly stick. Not that there aren{t those in the ol' US of A, but just to bring things back to an earthly level.

One of my favorite things (seriously) about most of Mexico that I{ve seen, are the totally random sidewalks. They offer challenge at every property line, holes in the darkest of corners, and rebar when you least expect it. The lady that sued McDonalds for making hot coffee without labeling it as "hot" would have been killed off by these sidewalks years ago, and that makes me happy. : ) Renting a bike is out of the question, as there is really no good place to ride such a contraption without great inconvenience, and while driving could work out, parking and insurance are rather big hurtles to jump down here. So walking/busing/cabing is it.

Apparently PV is a pretty gay-friendly place, so tomorrow I{m going gay and will report back later. Well, maybe not. But I{m definitely going to check out the "gay beach" as it is locally called and take in all the sights, as I{ve heard the most exotic of women also flock there as a means to avoid the "creapy mexican men" as they were described to me by a fellow traveler here at the hostel. Frankly, from what I{ve seen so far, there are more tight-clothed men with gelled hair and custom accents in Seattle than there are here, but that{s just me, on my first day.

Well, I{ve got to drain off some Bohemia, so until next time, keep it safe, and do stuff that I wouldn{t do, because I{m an odd one with a sense of adventure unique to myself.

Danny